no Santa, they’re not gifts, they’re jifts.
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
reblog and see what your followers say
I’VE LITERALLY HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE
I can’t believe this is what it took to get you wonderful people to send me asks. These are all beautiful. You’re all beautiful.
I’ve decided I want to be cremated. Not when I die, just whenever. Surprise me.
my ideal body weight is you on top of me.
black licorice isn’t a candy it’s a punishment
Guy’s Review of Right Guard Deodorant Ends Unexpectedly
This is GOLD
"Don’t post this."
"OH I AM."
John Mccain is in baseball jail.
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